NASA’s explosion of a rocket on the surface of the moon to, apparently, look for signs of water, seems… slightly peculiar, at best. It reminds me a bit of the time I smashed a window with a hammer to look for… uh, a fly that I’d spotted buzzing around. Quite obviously, NASA was actually secretly displaying its firepower to the Lunar aliens who live on the dark side of the moon, sending them a warning that their conquest is inevitable.

You… know about the Lunar aliens on the dark side of the moon, right? They’re furry and pink and blue, and have really squeaky voices. A bit like Tribbles from Star Trek, but with tiny little hands and feet. They live in tunnels beneath the Lunar surface. They eat moon-cheese. And they drink moonshine. And they’re scared of Mr Blobby, apparently. The truth will come out eventually, mark my words…

Explosions of a different kind might’ve been seen and heard in certain parts of Pakistan recently. Pakistani military operations against the Taleban continue, reminding the world that the extremists are still thriving. At least the army is taking firm and sustained action; though common attitudes in the country would suggest the Pakistani military can be considered merely the lesser of two evils. Not unlike the war in Afghanistan, the anti-Taleban campaign in Pakistan doesn’t have a discernable end in sight, and may drag on a very long time to come.

But Britain has extremists of its own to worry about, in the form of the BNP, who are imminently to receive even more legitimisation via a place on the BBC’s Question Time. Personally, I still don’t see a problem with this, as it’s only fair for any legitimately-recognised political party to be given the same platform as other parties. Besides, it will provide more opportunity for Nick Griffin and co. to make complete tits of themselves. Having to legally allow non-white people to join the party is already threatening to undermine them; those same democratic principles and equality issues that have been so milked by the BNP to its advantage are now coming back to bite them on their collective fat arse.

Personally, I would recommend that as many black, Asian, Jewish, and other minority citizens as possible rush to join the BNP, just to screw around with the party from within. Think of the comedy potential…

A mixed week for our world leaders; while Barak Obama is being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi is losing his precious legal immunity, potentially clearing the way for him to be brought to task on a multitude of corruption charges. Always nice to see the possibility of Emperor-like, egotistical, mass media mogul cum national leader type figures getting within flinching range of some comeuppance. Probably doesn’t happen often enough.

Egypt has become the first Islamic nation in which serious talk has ensued about the proposed banning of the niqab; the fully-body covering and face-veil. A prominent Egyptian cleric, Sheik Mohammed Tantawi, has condemned the contentious garb favoured by many Muslim women, denouncing it as having nothing to do with true Islam. Sheik Tantawi, who is dean of the prestigious and renowned al-Azhar University in Cairo, is, it has to be said, factually accurate that the niqab has no real basis in the Koran or the original traditions of Islam, no matter how many people might want to object to his statements. The niqab is, in fact, a cultural tradition, thought to have originated in Saudi Arabia.

It is refreshing to hear a highly-regarded Muslim scholar speak against it publicly and so vehemently. In a best-case scenario it might stimulate lively debate in the Islamic world; the kind of open, good-spirited debate that has been sorely lacking in Islamic scholarship for the longest time.

That said, I think we should all be uncomfortable with the growing trend of opposing the wearing of the veil, which has been the subject of much controversy in France and is now, according to reports, on the verge of being banned in Italy. People should surely be allowed to wear what they choose, especially if it is perceived to be a cultural heritage or tradition; that is surely a basic freedom of anyone living in a liberal, free society? It should surely be a matter of personal choice – and in most cases, certainly in the West anyway, it IS a personal choice by women? There is a misconception that women wearing the full covering are being oppressed, but this broadly isn’t the case.

There’s been something of a much-welcome revival lately of classic early nineties rock. Last year it was the return of Guns N’ Roses; these passed months, we’ve seen the return of Pearl Jam, selling out the 02 and releasing their new album, Backspacer. And now fellow Seattle grunge innovators and masters, Alice in Chains, have returned from the mists of legend with their long-awaited new album, Black Gives Way To Blue, and a new singer, William DuVall.

I’ve been proper chuffed to see Pearl Jam back in action, and I will confess to some pleasure at the idea of a new wave of substance-starved fans discovering Alice in Chains, but I do have to take issue: why are they still calling themselves Alice in Chains?

The tragic, untimely, death of AIC frontman Layne Staley in 2002, aged 32, was a heartbreaking loss to both the band and to rock music in general. The world lost one of its greatest artists and rock lost one of its finest, most unique, singers, under tragic circumstances -  a man whose voice could innebriate minds, raise ghosts, and cause the occupants of heaven to descend. Therefore, for the band to continue with a replacement singer and use the same name, I find grating and innappropriate.

I have nothing at all against William DuVall and nothing against the group continuing – but continue under a different name. Make it a whole new beginning. Maybe there are commercial reasons behind it, maybe even from a PR level, but, to my mind, out of respect if nothing else, the band should’ve renamed itself. If Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl decided to reform their old band without Kurt Cobain, I’m almost certain they wouldn’t call it Nirvana again, and I don’t see why the Alice in Chains situation should be any different.

That said, all indications are that the new album is excellent. Layne Staley was the kind of vocalist who simply couldn’t be replaced in a million years, his style more or less impossible to replicate. DuVall, in his own right, makes an excellent rock frontman. AiC’s return, and the on-form continuation of Pearl Jam, is a timely reminder of a golden era of Alt-Rock, the likes of which has not since been equalled and may never be, given the way the music industry is changing, while music-makers of such substance and calibre have become as rare as a solar eclipse.

Speaking of music, Michael Jackson’s new single is out, and an album soon follows (aNOTHER greatest hits compilation) to coincide with the cinematic release of ‘This Is It’. It continues, however, to feel entirely like a series of cash-in’s so that someone can make some serious dollars…

Someone else making some serious dollars is Jordan. And, as if Katie Price hadn’t hogged enough newspaper coverage already, there’s now talk about her threatening to ‘do a Britney’ and shave her head. Frankly, a scripted, by-the-numbers celebrity meltdown would be the logical next step for Jordan, who has thus far ticked every other box on the list. If I see one more glossy-mag advert on TV with Ms Price telling us to read her exclusive story, in all its juicy details, I am going to shoot my own TV. If only I had a gun…

I don’t have a gun; but one ex-gunner has been wandering his old haunts again lately. Thierry Henry, a recent attendee at Arsenal games at the Emirates, has not ruled out a possible return to Arsenal one day, apparently. The idea seems to be a return to North London some day to see out the twilight days of his career. Being a god at Arsenal, this would surely be a happy circumstance for most Gunners, and for Mr Wenger too; but why did Henry go to Barcelona in the first place? He was a deity at Arsenal, and the gravitational centre of the squad – why leave that to play third fiddle to younger stars like Etoo and Messi in Spain? At Barcelona, Henry has been just another star on a conveyor belt of big-name players; at Arsenal, he was the club’s hero.

In any case, a return to London would certainly be an appropriate way to wrap up an illustrious career some day. If only a certain David Beckham had some club where he too could be welcomed back a hero; as opposed to some club demanding his return, on account of the stupendous amount of money spent on him…