
Is it just me or is everyone else happy that the last of the Big Brother series is upon us. I mean really now, how is it that we actually derive enjoyment in watching a group of people stuck in a house, sitting around doing literally nothing! I would be a bit more understanding if they crossed concepts with ‘Survivor’ and we got to watch the housemates fight to survive, at least then there’d actually be something exciting worth my attention. But beyond the actuality of the show, one has to wonder what goes through the mind of the agent signing their client up for this spectacle. Being a housemate is a testament to the fact that your career is on the bottom step and any attention will do! Let’s just take a look at the current cast:
Alex Reid, an English professional mixed martial arts fighter, best known for being the current boyfriend of Katie Price following her split from Peter Andre. Honestly now, did we even care about him before Katie cast the spotlight on him by making him her own life-size dress-up doll! Maybe she should be his agent cause nobody else seemed to get him in the papers! Note to Katie; go get your commission hun!
Dane Bowers, an English pop singer, songwriter, and record producer. Hmmm, ok, I’ll give £10 to the first person that can name some of his hits without the help of Google. Kind of scary isn’t it, that at the tender age of thirty he’s finding it necessary to pick up these types of gigs to survive in the industry. In sensing there will be a new record coming in 10, 9, 8…
Heidi Fleiss, an American “Hollywood Madam”. I’ll admit that Heidi is probably one of the best known in the house, although probably not for the reason she’s happy with. In fact I’m most curious about her motives for being in the house. On one hand I’m thinking it must be because she’s low on money, but then something else tells me that she want to clean up her image and tale a proper stab at being a celebrity. She is one of the few in the houses with little dignity to lose.
Ivana Trump, the ex-wife of real estate developer Donald Trump, also a Czech fashion model and socialite. Ivana has been trying to get on the right side of ‘Celebrity’ for a while now but I never would have expected this. Maybe Donald’s cheques just aren’t coming like they used to, besides there’s only so much you can make from a failed reality series and lessening sporadic cameo television roles.
Jonas Altberg, better known as Basshunter, a Swedish record producer and singer-songwriter. I’ll save myself some time and just let you revert to Dane Bowers for a similar opinion. *yawn*
Ekaterina “Katia” Ivanova, a Kazakstan born British model best known for being the ex-girlfriend of The Rolling Stones’ Ronnie Wood. I can only think that maybe her agent sent her in here to get close to Heidi and forge some retirement plans.
Lady Sovereign, known as Sov in the House, a British rapper and grime artist. This is perhaps one of the biggest disappointments in the house. In my opinion Lady Sovereign has more talent and potential than she knows what to do with and should in no way be falling into the ‘washed-up’ category this early into her career. Maybe this will actually be a good opportunity for her to cool off and assess her next steps. Maybe she should bond with Sisqó and learn some industry tips.
Nicola Tappenden, also known as Nicola T, (born 2 December 1982) is an English Page 3 Girl, and glamour model. I’ll save myself even some time and just let you revert to Ekaterina “Katia” Ivanova for a similar opinion. *yawn*
Sisqó, an American R&B singer and another disappointment in the house. Someone please explain how you go from being Grammy-Award nominated, leader of a hit R&B group, having two Platinum solo records to being on Big Brother. I could sit here and make fun of his flamboyance or joke about the outdated performance he did before entering the house, but I won’t. The truth is that Sisqó does have an outstanding voice and I believe that if he spins this right he might be able to pull off a comeback.
Stephanie Beacham, an English actress. I’m somewhat baffled as to what she is doing in the house. She has had a long and interesting career and should now be enjoying retirement somewhere tending to roses in a nice country garden. I’m hoping that she’s not a Bernie Madoff victim trying to pick up the pieces!
Stephen Baldwin, an American actor, the youngest of the Baldwin brothers. I’m still trying to find his relevance. He comes off as annoying and self-righteous but then again I guess he’s just trying to keep his head above his family’s shadow. I predict he will fade back into oblivion.
Vinnie Jones, an English film actor and former football player. At first glance one would assume that he’s just some washed up footballer turned actor but the reality is that he has had a pretty consistent acting career. With a few movies out this year I am swayed to believe that he is using is time in the house to get more people familiar with is face/name as a head start to promoting his films later on it the year. I predict that he will become the most successful housemate.
So maybe I’ll actually watch this round of Celebrity Big Brother…but then again there might be some more interesting paint drying somewhere!



















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