Today I would like to tackle the controversial subject of the social faux-pas.  We’ve all been there, someone says something to you, and you’re not entirely sure how to react to it.  It’s an awkward situation, and the words that dribble from your mouth do not come via the brain, and are the worst possible words that could have appeared in that order, at that time.

Before I go into some of my own mistakes, I would like to give an example of a faux-pas made by a guy whom I was at art college with.  It was a nice day and a group of us were eating lunch in a near by park.  There was a German girl on our course and she was having a bit of a rant about how great Germany is.  “We have the nicest people in our country, the food is great, and I needn’t even mention the beer, oh, and our football team are way better than yours, all our sports players infact…etc” She eventually ran out of steam and nobody had anything to say on the subject, no one apart from one guy, “Yeah, but you did kill all those Jews”. (Long silence)

This is an extreme example of course, I don’t know what posessed him to say this, but nobody found it very funny needless to say.

Here is a small selection of my own wrong moments-

1.                    Watching a friend-of-a-friends band called Black Candy play several years ago, and hating every moment of the carnage they were inflicting on my ears.  The front man came to me after the gig and said “So, what do think of Black Candy” To which I said “Well, erm, I thought you were more like brown smarties.”  This was a terrible thing to say to someone you have only just met, and the rest of our encounters were marred by an air of tension.

2.                    In a lift at university with a few other people from my course.  I was wearing a particularly nasty brown shirt from the 70’s with an enormous collar.  Someone said “Why are you wearing that hideous shirt?”  I got a bit defensive, couldn’t think of a clever comeback, and replied “Because I can’t afford heroin.”  How was I supposed to know he was an ex-junkie?  We later became friends, then he stole some money from me, and my housemates camera and we never saw the bastard again. Read the rest of this entry »