Anyone who thought the British Empire was consigned to the pages of history was mistaken, apparently; Britannia is alive and well and still ruling the waves, all the way to Argentina. As if one meaningless war (the Falklands) wasn’t enough, a new conflict is now arising over those same islands. Islands, which, in any sane world, would legitimately belong to Argentina, but which we seem hell-bent on holding on to – especially now that there’s OIL to be extracted. Whilst armed conflict seems unlikely this time around, Argentine leaders have been soliciting UN intervention against British Imperial interests, and the whole thing is looking suspiciously like an international ‘incident’ in the making. The question is – whose face will have the egg dripping off it?

Good money would be on Britain crushing all resistance and holding on to its asset. Argentina, however, will then exact revenge in South Africa by knocking England out of the World Cup in the quarter finals. The last laugh will be with Maradona as he gives John Terry and co the finger.

Between John Terry, Ashley Cole, and Tiger Woods, 2010 is shaping up to be a big year for sports stars being unfaithful to their significant others. Of course, EVERY year is probably a big year for sports stars being unfaithful to their significant others; the only difference is Woods and Terry have been caught. Why does anyone actually care? Why has Ashley and Cheryl Cole’s split made front page headlines all over the country (even the Guardian went with it)? Why was Tiger Woods coaxed into making a public apology? What business is it of ours?

And does John Terry’s extra-marital hobbies have ANY bearing on his ability to captain the England team in the World Cup? In any case, Terry should consider himself lucky he was only getting jiggy with Wayne Bridge’s lady and not Didier Drogba’s; one can only imagine what the deadly Drogba would’ve DONE to him…

The BRIT awards came and went, with nothing much happening, as usual. While Lady Gaga and Jay-Z managed to bring some degree of class to the whole tedious affair, the rest of it was a mind-numbing account of another dull and soulless year in the British music industry…